Nothing to fix

Oikko Rode

In the underground storm shelter
A pipe caught a leak
Droplets fall on metal

It’s a beautiful morning
Or after noon
I stopped caring a while ago
But it’s beautiful.
Soft breeze with the ever changing city smell
Soil, petrol, dead animals.
But I feel good this morning
I planned my day the night before
Books, exercise, shower, tv
Beep, ring tones , sirens, car noises
All wrapped in tiny capsules
Background music to swallow it all down.

Nothing is broken,
Nothing to fix,

The book is boring
I’m reading just so I can finish it
Tv is nice
I forgot what I liked about the show I watched a minute ago
But it was nice, I think.
Exercise now
Abs first, then chest then legs
I lie down for my crunches
One big breath in
Now go
I can’t get up
I lay on the cold floor
I’m all out of breath

A shower, yes
Rinse all the fatigue from out of my mind
I’m still all together
I’m still alright

a person laying on a pillow

I stand under the shower
A loud knock on the door
“It’s been half an hour “
“But I just got here”
I snap out of it
I feel embarrassed
I forgot to turn on the faucet.

Today was supposed to be better than yesterday.

I planned and all

Books, social media, exercise, shower

I thought I was getting better.

There’s a flood underneath my feet
I feel the water rising
There’s certainly a leak
But where?

I thought nothing was broken.
I thought I fixed them all.

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